You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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