dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
