im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
