how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
