Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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