I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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