Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
