I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
