If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
