What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
