I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
