I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
