I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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