I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
