i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
