Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
