never play flip cup with pint glasses
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
