Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
