Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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