The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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