grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
