it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
