so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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