all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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