Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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