A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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