actually, I'm a sock model
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
