so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
