I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
