Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
