I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
