Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
