i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
