i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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