and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
