2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
