i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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