Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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