You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
