Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
