Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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