the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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