Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Your face is a jimmy john
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We smell like vodka and hangover
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