Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
