if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
