omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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