So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
