did you get engaged???
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
