wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
