Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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