I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize