so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
