If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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