u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
