Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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