Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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