You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
