he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize