Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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