im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
