What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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