We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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