i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
