Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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